Yesterday was an odd day. Scores, maybe dozens of scores of Seattleites were seen for the first time and even more were seeing things only their grandparents have seen ... We had bright sunlight. Stores were sold out of sunglasses. Bare skin looked as if, once again, Exxon had leaked oil because of all the hastily and clumsy applied sunscreen lotions (SPF 35) sloshing about. People didn't know where to hang up their raincoats (we rarely take them off) and a number of men went into comas due to the shock of removing their caps and Gore-Tex sombreros.
The really sad part ... people didn't know what to do with the sunlight. I witnessed at least ten people repeatedly going in and out the same door, over and over, just to stare into the sky. A few walked into walls and poles, light confused I suppose.
The 6 o'clock news reported numerous cases of drivers stopping on the freeway then exiting their cars just to stand and look at the golden orb in the sky. There were hundreds of crashes and wrecks because of the earthquake-like suddenness of the brightness.
Of course, this being Seattle, there were anarchists, high on the brightness, running amok and yelling stuff, "Hey dude, it's the end of the world!" And, "Kill the zombies, it's the Apocalypse!"
All should return to normal now that rain wind and snow are featured in today's weather forecast. Thank god for that. I can't find my sandals.
I was recently asked if I could repost a quiz I gave to my daughter before she enrolled at the university.
Some time ago I deleted that blog, along with about one thousand others ... Why did I delete so many? I removed my more creative postings, some of which were extensive researched, reviewed by our attorneys, copyrighted then included in a leather bound, 10 volume edition detailing our private lives ... and I got all pissed off at the whole blogging thing ... the lack of response, so few readers, etc. etc. etc. ... all of which I now accept as the way it is and I'm no longer bothered by those issues.
Anyway, the following exam is something I put together because we had been home schooling our daughter... not because of some ideological, religious or uppity reason ... we did it because she did eleven years in full-time training as an ice skater .... regular school hours just didn't fit with our complicated schedules.
Read each question carefully, no questions can be asked.
Correct grammar and spelling is mandatory.
Answer all questions.
The testing period will last 4 hours and there will be one 15-minute intermission.
Objectively outline, in detail with footnoted references, everything you know.
Describe the history of the Papacy from its origin to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economics, philosophical and religious impact on Europe, Asia, Africa and the Americas. Be specific, concise and brief.
2500 riot crazed street people are rushing towards you. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
You will be provided a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of alcohol. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been examined. You will have 20 minutes.
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.
You will be furnished enough materials to paint a mural. Choices of topics are either to paint the history of the Impressionist Movement or the detailed account of military uniforms through the ages.
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicia and Hammarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Describe the universe and give two examples.
Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle will be provided. You will also be given an instructional manual in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the testing room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
Develop a realistic plan to refinance the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donat controversy, the wave theory of light and the origins of Aristotelian reasoning. Outline a method for preventing those effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to your last question.
You will be provided a secure Red Telephone. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Assume Adolf Hitler was captured and you are his assigned legal council. Create an effective defense strategy and win his case.
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.
Outline the origin of species, with an emphasis on the causality of chromosomal dominance. Use the myths of warrior women as counterpoints to that of historically based male weapons, i.e., spears, bazookas and nuclear missiles. Argue your point of view as if you were a missionary in Iran.