Today, what I posted on Facebook.
• Math problem: A 1000 monkeys are in a room and each has a keyboard. How many Facebook postings will they do in one hour?
• It's a fact (maybe), Facebook HQ is totally empty of people. But in their HQ there are thousands of Mac laptops linked together and remotely operated by a kid living in Omaha Nebraska who has a bank account in the Caymans.
• Warning: George Carlin, Samuel Clemens and Captain Picard are coming after you for misquoting them on Facebook. Willy Wonka, Gandhi and Liberace are also really ticked off the way you’ve twisted their words.
• Sartre wrote a paper about Facebook. He said FB was disorienting and confusing, especially in the face of an a meaningless and absurd world - so he gave it one thumb up.
• Remember, tomorrow is January 19 - Time to set your Facebook clock back to 5th grade unless, that is, you use geological time, then move the big hand back to the Paleozoic.
• What’s the difference between Facebook and a lobotomy? Huh?
• As penance the priest told me to say 20 Hail Mary’s and one hour reading Facebook.
• Facebook is kinda like reality TV. Except for the reality part, that is.
• And astronomers say they aren't sure what's in a Black Hole. Guess they don't do Facebook.
• Facebook, habit forming but zero calories.
• When at a loss for words, there's always Facebook.
• Facebook, where no one ever complains about their own real aches, pains and assorted frightening realities. Complaints are only about "They", "them", "the crazies down the street" and "Big Brother."
• Facebook, where there's no book. Just run-on sentences and dangling participles.
• Facebook, where knock-off Hallmark cards live forever.
• Facebook, just like a wish sandwich. You know, two slices of white bread and you wish you had some meat.
• Facebook, where trivia and clichés live forever. And slacktivism is alive and nurtured.
• Facebook and Twitter have killed blogging. And since the internet is now mostly a shopping network, the possibility of actual person to person communication is toast.
to be continued ...
• Math problem: A 1000 monkeys are in a room and each has a keyboard. How many Facebook postings will they do in one hour?
• It's a fact (maybe), Facebook HQ is totally empty of people. But in their HQ there are thousands of Mac laptops linked together and remotely operated by a kid living in Omaha Nebraska who has a bank account in the Caymans.
• Warning: George Carlin, Samuel Clemens and Captain Picard are coming after you for misquoting them on Facebook. Willy Wonka, Gandhi and Liberace are also really ticked off the way you’ve twisted their words.
• Sartre wrote a paper about Facebook. He said FB was disorienting and confusing, especially in the face of an a meaningless and absurd world - so he gave it one thumb up.
• Remember, tomorrow is January 19 - Time to set your Facebook clock back to 5th grade unless, that is, you use geological time, then move the big hand back to the Paleozoic.
• What’s the difference between Facebook and a lobotomy? Huh?
• As penance the priest told me to say 20 Hail Mary’s and one hour reading Facebook.
• Facebook is kinda like reality TV. Except for the reality part, that is.
• And astronomers say they aren't sure what's in a Black Hole. Guess they don't do Facebook.
• Facebook, habit forming but zero calories.
• When at a loss for words, there's always Facebook.
• Facebook, where no one ever complains about their own real aches, pains and assorted frightening realities. Complaints are only about "They", "them", "the crazies down the street" and "Big Brother."
• Facebook, where there's no book. Just run-on sentences and dangling participles.
• Facebook, where knock-off Hallmark cards live forever.
• Facebook, just like a wish sandwich. You know, two slices of white bread and you wish you had some meat.
• Facebook, where trivia and clichés live forever. And slacktivism is alive and nurtured.
• Facebook and Twitter have killed blogging. And since the internet is now mostly a shopping network, the possibility of actual person to person communication is toast.
to be continued ...
5 comments:
So many people I don't talk to in person - now all I see about them are quick quotes and cat pictures
to misuse Carl Sagan's quote:
"Billions and billions of people and we rarely see one another, if at all."
cat pictures can be quite ok...if they're my cats. ;-)
i think you need a FB break. i'll take one too, in solidarity. we will both vow not to visit facebook this entire weekend. no posts. no reading. not even opening it on the iPhone. i'll do it too, in solidarity. it will make us both feel more sane. i'm sure of it.
OK, will do ... but its fun making silly-stupid remarks about FB. Maybe I've found my online calling tho mums the word, for now.
I scorn FB.
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