For hundreds of years, my clan has predicted family events, political results, perfect crops, snow storms and the sexes of unborn children ... all this has been accomplished by interpreting the shadows of red tulips.
This ritual is done in a darkened room, preferably after the dinner meal. Clan elders drink the sacred wine and reminisce about the old days and tell each other both truths and lies. These moments produce laughter, even tighter bondings and more drinking. When the chuckles die down, there’s more food, of a sweetened variety and there’s more wine, of the less sacred variety, and when the moment seems right they make their predictions for the coming months and year.
As I said, they’re almost 100% accurate in their predictions. For example, if a child is born within that year, the elders, without hesitation will categorically state, “I told you it would be a girl.”
If someone’s business fails, the elders, without a trace of shyness, will tell the poor loser, “We told you so.”
And, if there’s a snow storm in January, all the elders will text the entire family, usually offering advice and crowing about their predictions. “I knew it was going to snow, that’s why I gave you a new snow shovel because shoveling snow is better than not shoveling snow.”
Yes, tulip shadows are at the roots of so much that happens within my clan. We are not Dutch but we rely on taxi service at the end of the tulip ceremony.
photo by
Bill Stankus
01/02/13
This ritual is done in a darkened room, preferably after the dinner meal. Clan elders drink the sacred wine and reminisce about the old days and tell each other both truths and lies. These moments produce laughter, even tighter bondings and more drinking. When the chuckles die down, there’s more food, of a sweetened variety and there’s more wine, of the less sacred variety, and when the moment seems right they make their predictions for the coming months and year.
As I said, they’re almost 100% accurate in their predictions. For example, if a child is born within that year, the elders, without hesitation will categorically state, “I told you it would be a girl.”
If someone’s business fails, the elders, without a trace of shyness, will tell the poor loser, “We told you so.”
And, if there’s a snow storm in January, all the elders will text the entire family, usually offering advice and crowing about their predictions. “I knew it was going to snow, that’s why I gave you a new snow shovel because shoveling snow is better than not shoveling snow.”
Yes, tulip shadows are at the roots of so much that happens within my clan. We are not Dutch but we rely on taxi service at the end of the tulip ceremony.
photo by
Bill Stankus
01/02/13
4 comments:
copied from my Facebook page.
Julie Broberg likes this.
Julie Broberg
bill, this would seem to be a new you...i'm not sure that's a good thing. but on the off chance it is, will you please read my future in the tulip shadows?
4 hours ago ·
Bill Stankus
Will have to wait til evening plus need to get more sacred wine.
4 hours ago ·
Julie Broberg
get thee to the sacred wine shop (preferably south african)
4 hours ago ·
Julie Broberg
the wine, that is, not the shop.
4 hours ago ·
What's wrong with South African wine shops? Here in Vegas we have Korean wine shops in abundance, haven't seen a SA one yet.
Oh, but you can't post this without telling us the secrets of HOW to read the future in the tulip shadows. I want to peer into my future, too!
Coffee - are you of our clan? Can you drink wine, not coffee? Do you have any allergies? I will ponder sharing the HOW.
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